Written by Shanna Kelly
As the warm weather approaches, spring sports are now underway and this year, a new school-sanctioned sport has been added to the mix: competitive prom dress shopping. This sport is only open to seniors and while every senior makes the cut, only the best come out on top.
Competitive prom dress shopping is a sport that requires speed, aggression and raw talent. Illegal play includes posting a dress that you are not 100-percent sure about, choosing the same dress as someone else and not posting at all.
In this game there are no refs; instead, players will have every senior girl in school calling out their foul play.
Players are required to spend a minimum of $500 on a dress, which must be bought from a high-end couture prom dress shop.
The object of the game is for every player to find a plain, overpriced dress from a different designer or store than the other opponents. Store salesmen keep stats on the name and school that each buyer is from to ensure that there is no cheating. Keep in mind that this is not a team sport; while every player will be representing WHS, it is every woman for herself.
The beginning of the game is the hardest and players are usually asking to sit on the bench when the first wave of prom dresses are posted.
The key is to not crack under the stress. Get your head in the game, get out on the field and find a dress.
Keep in mind, once one player posts, all other players are then required to post immediately after.
Additionally, training for this sport is essential and requires discipline. Players must have a diet that avoids carbs, sugar, artificial sweeteners, gluten and happiness. A strict diet of celery and kale is recommended. But how does a player win this game? It´s simple. In the final competition—prom—the girl who gets the crown, wins the game.
This article appeared in the April Fool's edition of the Hi's Eye.