by Clara Smith
During their junior year at WHS, students write a Junior Research Paper. Although teachers do provide students with general information on the proper process to complete the paper, Hi’s Eye strongly suggests that students follow the below steps to ensure that they get the most out of the experience.
1. Make sure that you are, in fact, a junior
This first step is vital for more reasons than you might guess. Obviously, if you are not a junior, then you are putting yourself through unnecessary torture. But also, if you are a mere freshman or sophomore, a fear stemming from years of watching the Junior classes die off has not had enough time to manifest. Indeed, it is critical that you do not deny yourself this step in the process.
2. Set up an automatic reply for your email
“Hello friend. As you may know, I am now a junior in high school, so I have no time for things like communication with the outside world. Currently, I am either on a quest for primary sources, in school, sleeping or a combination of the three. If you really need to reach me, don’t. I may return after [your JRP due date] or later, depending on the time needed for recovery. Sincerely, [your name].”
3. Consider completing the process work required by your teacher
It will look something like this: You must spend at least 10 hours working on your primary source journal, and the same amount of time on your secondary source journal. No fewer than 100 bibliographical flashcards will be accepted. A weekly updated thesis statement is expected; a daily revised outline is essential; an hourly added source to your Noodlebib account is crucial. (Step 3.5: Reconsider completing the process work required by your teacher.)
4. Pick a topic, then another topic, then another topic
Your English teacher will tell you that you should be flexible in choosing a specific topic, because throughout the course of writing your paper, you will constantly be tweaking and adjusting your focus. What this really means is that after you take 40 books out of the library, write a 7 page outline and interview at least 5 sources, an unexpected but inevitable outside force will appear and cause you to completely switch your topic. As this will happen no fewer than three times, save yourself the trouble and change your topic thrice immediately.
5. Write your paper
6. Switch to size 12 font
After writing your 15 perfect pages, make sure that you switch from size 14 to size 12 font. This will free up about two pages, ensuring that you will not be left bored on the night before the paper is due. If you want, you can make up for lost space by inserting a couple of paragraphs on the mating call of the purple cow to check if your teacher is thoroughly reading the paper.