by Erica Millwater
Kanye West broke all kinds of common courtesies at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards when he walked onstage as Taylor Swift accepted her award, and again at the Grammys on Feb. 8 when he pulled a similar stunt on Beck.
As of now, he’s only been causing trouble at Hollywood awards shows. But here are a few warnings in case Kanye West ever comes to Westfield.
1. Clearly, Kanye would not have basic classroom manners. He didn’t wait his turn to talk when Taylor Swift and Beck were accepting their awards, so teachers, definitely don’t expect him to raise his hand.
2. Since Kanye’s a dad now, babysitting jobs are up for grabs. Sure, they may pay well, but beware: Kim and Kanye will be out way later than you anticipated, making appearances on the North Side while you’re stuck home with North West.
3. Kanye will certainly not appreciate the limited parking surrounding WHS. Expect one of his license plate numbers to be called over the loudspeaker because he parked in a reserved spot, or blocked a driveway. Don’t worry, you definitely will know it’s him. Who else would drive a $750,000 “Lamborghini Mercy”?
4. Expect Kanye to run the show. After all, it is WESTfield.
5. Kanye always stands up for what he believes, literally. So don’t be surprised, Mr. Harper, when he disagrees with which bridge project you think is best.
“Sorry, but Beyoncé’s bridge was clearly flawless.”
6. Guard the loudspeaker during announcements, Mr. Renwick, because Kanye West may just try and steal the spotlight from you, too.