by Chris McGlynn

In most cases, teachers tell you to study for tests and inform you well in advance. My teacher called it a baseline assessment, but failed to explain what that was either.

​Upon receiving my graded test I only got one question right. Don’t tell Mr. Renwick, but I actually managed to steal a copy of that test that I have put here for you to see.
1. What is your name? No, this was not the one question I got right.
2. Cuándo es tu cumpleaños? I haven’t taken Spanish since fifth grade.  I wrote England.
3. What year did Alexander Graham Bell invent the first telephone? Finally something history related…I still got it wrong.
4. Explain, in full, the purpose and uses for horizontal and vertical asymptotes using a language other than English. I copied what was written forquestion two.  At least I knew that was a different language.
5. Can you describe the male praying mantis’ mating call? No. No I cannot.
6. What is your history teacher’s social security number? This was actually the only question I got right on the test.  I don’t really know how.
7. What exactly is the function of a rubber duck? I just skipped this one.
8. Fill in the blank: Mary had a little ________. Hamburger. I was hungry…
9. Who was the general of the Confederate army at the Battle of Gettysburg ?Umm…D all of the above. Alright I panicked a bit.
10. What is a baseline assessment? Beats me. All I need to do is take it apparently.