by Kate Helander
You pull up to the parking lot at 6:30 a.m., and the cutthroat competition begins; student drivers fill the lot, ready to fight for one of the coveted student parking spots, Hunger Games-style. The student lot breeds stress and brings an unhealthy level of competition to students’ lives. WHS should get rid of the lot, and turn it into something positive. Think of everything that the school could do with the student section of the parking lot: They could install a permanent bouncy castle or put in a ciabatta kiosk—things that are more beneficial to students than mere parking spots
Students are plagued with stress, so the lot should be turned into a de-stressing zone. Each day, administration could set up a new activity for students to use during their free periods. Mondays can consist of putting up a puppy pen—because really, can anyone be stressed when they are holding a wriggling, warm puppy?
Another idea is to use the lot as an area for gym class. Everyone is getting tired of mundane gym games like deck hockey and pickleball, so why not spice things up and install a laser-tag arena? WHS should be able to explore more unique sports, like Brunsbuettel—a combination of team sports played in a mudflat.
The student lot could be transformed into an outdoor cafeteria, made entirely of food trucks. Empty pavement is perfect for trucks filled with food! How many schools have trucks with unique lunch options like a ramen noodle burger or schnitzel? WHS needs to get on this ASAP.
It’s my mission as I spend my last few months at WHS to make sure that the school as a whole recognizes the sheer futility of the student parking spots in the lot and instead uses the space for more practical uses.
This article appeared in the April Fool's edition of the Hi's Eye.