by Elli Warsh
Seniors be warned: coming home from college the first time can be very…uncomfortable. Like Dorothy stepping into Oz, you may find yourself saying, “Toto, we are not in Westfield anymore.”
Of course, every college kid goes to Bchat before even worrying about saying hello to his or her family. It may seem like home, but the worst happens when after three short months, the cashier doesn’t remember your name. It’s probably because your hair is a shade lighter and not because you’ve gained the dreaded Freshman 15.
Speaking of which, you worry that it’s going to be the Freshman 30 after this Thanksgiving meal. Your mom bought all your favorite foods, forgetting that colleges do have places to eat besides Chick-fil-A and Chipotle.
One thing that hasn’t changed in the past few months is your nosy relatives’ tendency to badger you with the same intrusive questions. Uncle John walks in and immediately cuts to the chase: “What are you majoring in?” You panic as you realize that neither fraternity parties nor procrastination are actual college majors. So you go with, “I’m still testing the waters.”
Next, you eat the entire pumpkin pie, lapse into in a pile of tears and end up right where you started.
You convince yourself that as soon as you get back to college, you will head straight to the gym. But instead you end up binge-watching Breaking Bad, wondering what happened to home sweet home.