by Rebecca Smoot
How could I be expected to handle school on a day like this? A beautiful day in the 07090, only miles away from the greatest city in the world. It would be a crime to be forced into something as terrible as school.
This is my ninth sick day. It’s tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for 10, I’ll have to barf up a lung, so I’d better make this one count. Life moves pretty fast; if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. So why not hop on NJ Transit and spend a couple hours in the concrete jungle?
I do have a test today, that wasn’t made-up. It’s on European socialism. What’s the point? I’m not European, so who cares if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn’t buy me a car.
The best way to get your parents to call you out of school? You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school.
On the agenda for today? Times Square, a park or two and definitely some of the best food in the city—burgers. But who knows what else is in store? The main goal? Not getting caught.
M&M’S World in Times Square is the way to go. You can snag tons of free M&M’S and don’t have to deal with the crowds at Hershey’s Chocolate World… amateurs. They also have apparel for anyone looking to wear the M&M’S, instead of eating them (1).
After all this chocolate, I need to slow things down and take a stroll in one of the beautiful parks that the city has to offer. Nothing can fix a stomach cramp like a good old-fashioned carousel ride; it’s just what the doctor prescribed (2).
Walking can really tire a person out; food is essential to surviving a day like today. The perfect place to eat? Shake Shack. Except one slight little problem—my teacher is here. Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one Mr. Hynes goes to (3).
He recognized me from 50 yards away. One can only expect to have some kind of run-in while ditching school. I couldn’t be in that much hot water, though— he was doing the same. Turns out, he needed a day off too.
With the day starting to wind down, I think I’ll ask my newfound friends what they’ve enjoyed today. We’ve seen everything good, we’ve seen the whole city. We went to a museum and saw priceless works of art (4). However, Mr. Hynes was still unimpressed.
Ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to play a little tune for you. I dedicate it to someone who doesn’t think he’s seen anything good today. Mr. Hynes, this one is for you (5).
I don’t think life can get any better than performing in the middle of Times Square, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Life moves pretty fast; if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.